Over the last few weeks, I have started both a new job and Hideo Kojima’s critically acclaimed video game, Death Stranding. My job is the first one in my new, post-college career, and Death Stranding is a massive open world video game. I’ve found myself overwhelmed by the prospect of both. One is a new video game with unique and sometimes daunting mechanics to learn as I become more accustomed to its systems. And this new job has its own set of unique challenges that I’ve needed to become accustomed to as I learn how to find my footing in the next chapter of my life.

While both have been overwhelming and challenging for very different reasons, it wasn’t until recently that I discovered the parallels between both. It finally dawned on me that this new job and Death Stranding are more alike than I thought, and it’s been through a series of challenges and hardships, like carrying valuable parcels across an isolated America, or trying to find my voice and confidence in a new workplace environment, that I learned a valuable life lesson: I need to go easy on myself and it’s okay to not have everything figured out in just a week or two of a new job, or within 10 hours of a new game.

A Sense of Guilt

In this brief period, the feeling I’ve most commonly felt so far is guilt. Guilt that I’m either not doing enough at my job or in the game, or guilt because I don’t have all of the necessary skills mastered. For example, with Death Stranding, I’ve often taken on more deliveries or missions than I should, and as a result, my version of Sam Porter Bridges is often over encumbered and can barely walk because there are countless packages stacked on his back. As I trek to each destination, the psychological weight and pressure that I place upon myself only increases when navigating areas with package thieving MULEs, or when BTs surround me as a timefall storm lingers through.

In both of these experiences, I’ve only realized how tough I am on myself. I set challenging and unreasonable expectations or create a situation that isn’t necessary. It feels like if I’m not carrying the burden of 200 pounds of deliveries in Death Stranding then I’m not doing a good job. And that same feeling applies to my job. I’ve felt this guilt because I’m not in the perfect routine for myself and all of my work isn’t completed in the way that I’d like. I’ve set such lofty goals for myself that, while ambitious, are unreasonable to expect in such a short period. And it’s okay that these goals aren’t being met.

Remember That It’s Okay To Not Have It All Figured Out!

The biggest change so far has been my willingness to ask for help and admit when I’m struggling. After speaking to numerous colleagues, I’ve slowly begun to accept that it’s perfectly okay to not know everything just two weeks into your first real job. It’s okay to give myself a break and find a healthy life-work balance. I need to give myself some credit and allow room for error. As long as the task is getting done and I’m learning and working to improve my skills every day, I’ll eventually see the results. It wasn’t until Death Stranding and my job that I realized how much of a perfectionist I am and how hard I can be on myself.

To Conclude

Moving forward, I am going to remind myself that I can do enough without feeling guilty that I haven’t done more. Each time I traverse America as Sam Porter Bridges, I don’t need to take on three missions at a time. It’s fine to not have a week’s worth of work completed in just two days. By adopting this kindness and grace, I give myself an opportunity to breathe. I just need to do one thing at a time; slowly chip away at my goals or objectives and the work will get done. As of this writing, I am less than a month into my new job and on chapter 3 of Death Stranding. I’ve learned a great deal in this short time, like managing what’s most important or how to prioritize certain objectives. But most importantly, I’ve learned to be kind to myself.